RealGM

I'll start



- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless James Johnson has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

- When you're James Johnson, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

- James Johnson ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

- James Johnson doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

James Johnson doesn't ever move; the universe moves around him.

James Johnson has never owned a pair of oven mitts; he just barehands it.

James Johnson wasn't born.

He just decided to live.

This thread has promise!

When James Johnson does pushups he's not pushing up, he's pushing the earth down.

lol

When James Johnson is angry, not even Chuck Norris dare cross him.

james johnson has counted to infinity. twice

The only thing James Johnson can't break is a window from Ferguson.

(Bonus points to whoever catches the reference)

There is no 'ctrl' button on James Johnson's computer. James Johnson is always in control.

James Johnson's tears cure cancer. Too bad James Johnson never cries.

James Johnson wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the other team.

James Johnson will make everyone forget about Dejuan what's his name.

Who wins in a fight? James Johnson or god?


Trick question.


James Johnson is god.

Why did Adolf Hitler kill himself?

Because he knew it was only a matter of time before James Johnson's fist would break the sound and time barrier.

James Johnson was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

James Johnson believes it's not butter.

James Johnson's' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools James Johnson.

James Johnson once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

James Johnson puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

James Johnson once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

James Johnson can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

James Johnson runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

James Johnson was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

James Johnson doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

my favorite

James Johnson secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

James Johnson kills Voldemort.

James Johnson's man juices contain the antivenom to black widow bites. It's one less thing for Fred Tedeschi to be worried about.