20 Reasons the Suns will Flame Out (Columnist Kevin Ding)

[JohnVancouver]

They remain right there at the top of the Western Conference because so many opponents simply can't deal with their skill, but everything behind the scenes feels wrong for the Phoenix Suns.

Here are the top 20 reasons the Suns, for all their talent and experience, won't win the West this season:

1. They can't play the Clippers every night. (Tonight at Staples Center is the Suns' last gimme after three boosts from the Clippers already, and the Clips might even win this one considering how disjointed the Suns are right now.)

2. They are the worst rebounding team in the NBA. The worst.

3. Lead assistant coach Marc Iavaroni left to become head coach in Memphis. Iavaroni was the main pipeline into immature Amare Stoudemire, who crazily believes this should now be his team.

4. Coach Mike D'Antoni lacks the strong personality this team has grown to need: He took the easy way out and set the wrong tone for the season by giving Stoudemire a third slice of Steve Nash's and Shawn Marion's captaincy.

5. Nash's new "got milk?" print ad has him soaring through the air in a way that is all wrong. He looks like a ballboy using a trampoline so he can dunk.

6. The Suns are 1-6 against the other West teams currently slotted for the playoffs

[JustMoe]

This guy seems to be pretty good at pointing out the obvious, stuff everyone who follows the Suns just a little should have already noticed quite a while ago. So we're bad at rebounding, OH REALLY?! And our owner loves saving money, huh? Never noticed that before getting informed by this wise guy, either.
My favorite point has to be #8 - Boris' stats have disappeared since he signed his extension...WUHU! Thanks for letting me know, Sherlock Holmes!!!

[JustMoe]

After thinking about this great article for a while (while sitting on the toilet), I realized that my efforts of becoming a serious journalist are just a major waste of time. So I'll most likely drop out of university and become a great (aka not-so-great) sportswriter instead.

In order to prove that i can keep up with the best in this prestigious business (aka Kevin Ring-a-Ding) I'd love to share parts of my impressive wisdom regarding B-Ball as an appetizer for my upcoming blog "Moe's Crap - the most dispensable column on the entire WWW":

1. Michael Jordan used to wear #23

2. Dirk Nowitzky stems from Germany (no bull, I know it gets mentioned EXTREMELY seldom, but that doesn't make it less true)

3. Raef LaFrentz is slightly overpaid, regarding his production

4. Tony Parker is married to "Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria

5. It only happens on a few occasions that Eddie Curry and Zach Randolph get confused for the Olsen Twins

6. Kobe Bryant enjoys being on offense, both on and off the court

7. Basketball courts can be pretty pretty slick, especially for players who were born in Argentina

...

Since 7 is such a biblical number I'll just leave it this way for the start. I know, some of those points require a little extra effort from the readers, but I'm convinced I'll be able to manage making it less subtle in the future, just need some additional experience here. Guess I'll have to read more Ding Dong-columns.

Anyway, now that I'm done and everybody knows just how great I am...where's my freakin' paycheck!?

[NapoleonII]

Oh, so I guess the sky has already fallen. Even I call bs on half of those 'points'.


Playoffs are a whole different game, but I concur that this is our last shot.

[walkingart]

An aside - i was watching the Kings/Raptors game and it was interesting to see how Mikki Moore isn't who he was last season, with Kidd getting him the ball. I hope Shawn was watching the game ....

???? Are you suffering from some sort of memory loss that we should all be aware of?

19.1pts, 9.9rebs, 2stls, & 1.25blks

What are these numbers, they are Shawn Marion's stats for the 4 seasons prior to Nash's arrival.

Marion may not be a Superstar, but he is a legit 20 and 10 guy on any and every team in the league. He is the second best rebounder under 6'7" to EVER play in the league, behind Barkley. What makes his points so valuable is they come in the flow of an offense and on hustle plays. He can play alongside Nash and Amare, and his numbers don't suffer because he doesn't need the ball to be effective. Odds are, if he went to another a team, his numbers would improve. He would not have to exert as much energy on the defensive side of the ball, trying to cover for his teamates. Nor would he be chasing PG's around all night or pushing up on monster's under the basket.

I have said it before, look at the numbers and watch the Suns play. If anyone needs to do some thanking, its Nash. His numbers improved when he came here because he is playing next to 2 of the best finishers in the league. That doesn't mean to say he is not great, but his numbers would not be what they are on any other team in the league. If you disagree, then you haven't seen the lack of hands on most bigs in the league.

[GoDogGo]

After thinking about this great article for a while (while sitting on the toilet), I realized that my efforts of becoming a serious journalist are just a major waste of time. So I'll most likely drop out of university and become a great (aka not-so-great) sportswriter instead.

In order to prove that i can keep up with the best in this prestigious business (aka Kevin Ring-a-Ding) I'd love to share parts of my impressive wisdom regarding B-Ball as an appetizer for my upcoming blog "Moe's Crap - the most dispensable column on the entire WWW":

1. Michael Jordan used to wear #23

2. Dirk Nowitzky stems from Germany (no bull, I know it gets mentioned EXTREMELY seldom, but that doesn't make it less true)

3. Raef LaFrentz is slightly overpaid, regarding his production

4. Tony Parker is married to "Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria

5. It only happens on a few occasions that Eddie Curry and Zach Randolph get confused for the Olsen Twins

6. Kobe Bryant enjoys being on offense, both on and off the court

7. Basketball courts can be pretty pretty slick, especially for players who were born in Argentina

...

Since 7 is such a biblical number I'll just leave it this way for the start. I know, some of those points require a little extra effort from the readers, but I'm convinced I'll be able to manage making it less subtle in the future, just need some additional experience here. Guess I'll have to read more Ding Dong-columns.

Anyway, now that I'm done and everybody knows just how great I am...where's my freakin' paycheck!?

Can I add #8?
Rarely do ads in any media cause the outcome of a game.

Din-Dong's #5 was horrible at best, so he is implying that Nash will not help us because he looks awkward in an ad?
I think kids across America who read this garbage will think,"Hey, I could write this poorly. Maybe I could get a job writing articles."

[JustMoe]

-= original quote snipped =-



Can I add #8?
Rarely do ads in any media cause the outcome of a game.

Din-Dong's #5 was horrible at best, so he is implying that Nash will not help us because he looks awkward in an ad?
I think kids across America who read this garbage will think,"Hey, I could write this poorly. Maybe I could get a job writing articles."

That's just my point: half of the things he brings up are meant to be serious (with a totally kickass funny undertone, of course ), the other half is meant to be funny - how am I supposed to take this crap seriously?! There's no point in that entire thing that's somehow new or at least smart to come up with.

I don't know this dude, so i don't have a clue what website/magazine/whatever he's writing for, but seriously: several of the posts that can be found within serious discussions on this website aren't just more entertaining, but also more informative than this.

[-SDU-]

this entire article is just pure unadulterated BS

[CroesusDeluxo]

After thinking about this great article for a while (while sitting on the toilet), I realized that my efforts of becoming a serious journalist are just a major waste of time. So I'll most likely drop out of university and become a great (aka not-so-great) sportswriter instead.

In order to prove that i can keep up with the best in this prestigious business (aka Kevin Ring-a-Ding) I'd love to share parts of my impressive wisdom regarding B-Ball as an appetizer for my upcoming blog "Moe's Crap - the most dispensable column on the entire WWW":

1. Michael Jordan used to wear #23

2. Dirk Nowitzky stems from Germany (no bull, I know it gets mentioned EXTREMELY seldom, but that doesn't make it less true)

3. Raef LaFrentz is slightly overpaid, regarding his production

4. Tony Parker is married to "Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria

5. It only happens on a few occasions that Eddie Curry and Zach Randolph get confused for the Olsen Twins

6. Kobe Bryant enjoys being on offense, both on and off the court

7. Basketball courts can be pretty pretty slick, especially for players who were born in Argentina

r o f l

[Craig McDermott]

So he's saying the Suns are flamers.

[-SDU-]

hes not saying much that makes any sense actually

[PHXfan85]

Those aren't even reasons why the suns will "flame out". I thought the article was actually gonna have valid points. This guys is Capt. Obvious and is just taking cheap shots at the Suns. Skinner looks like an upsidedown carrot top? ok....

[Duiz]

I don't follow the suns too much, and for me as a Jazz fan it was a good read. I didn't knew like 15 of the points I guess.

[impulsenine]

I'm pretty sure that every team in the NBA could have 30 reasons of this type, and most of them would actually have valid reasons they'd not make it to the Top.

Of course, most teams wouldn't need a long list. The list for Minnesota, Miami, Seattle, Memphis, and New York would look like this:

1. They pretty much suck.

[PHXfan85]

[quote="impulsenine"]I'm pretty sure that every team in the NBA could have 30 reasons of this type, and most of them would actually have valid reasons they'd not make it to the Top.

Of course, most teams wouldn't need a long list. The list for Minnesota, Miami, Seattle, Memphis, and New York would look like this:

1. They pretty much suck.[/quote]



Just made my night. [/b]

[Duiz]

true. He forgot the positive things about the Suns. But I still think that the article gives some insight to the Suns that an outsider doesn't know.

[mkot]

true. He forgot the positive things about the Suns. But I still think that the article gives some insight to the Suns that an outsider doesn't know.

Aside from the obvious (i.e. Nash can't defend), you sure everything he said is true? Point #7, for example, Sarver didn't not just come in and slash payroll. In fact, it's the opposite - he came in and jacked up the payroll by giving out contracts to Nash and Q-Rich, then Raja the next season, then Boris and Barbosa the following season. It was Brian Colangelo who slashed the payroll to make it easier to sell the franchise.

[Ballings7]

2. They are the worst rebounding team in the NBA. The worst.

Not exactly, but definitely at the bottom area.

7. Owner Robert Sarver's bizarre approach

[FLoppy]

A little background on Kevin Ding - He's the Lakers beat writer and travels with the team. Here's an update on his blog re: this column -

It's 20 reasons the Lakers won't win a title submitted by a suns fan

http://lakers.freedomblogging.com/2008/ ... /#more-540