Way OT: Is College Commencement Worth Going To?

[OldSchoolNoBull]

This has absolutely nothing to do with the Bulls or basketball, but I'm looking for advice, and I have nothing to lose by asking here, and I have half a day to make this decision.

I am about to graduate from college - fall graduation - the commencement ceremony is the day after classes end - Saturday, November 21st. The problem?

My dad has an annual business trip every November, a conference for people in his field. The host city alternates between five possible cities from year to year, and if it's one that appeals to my mom and I, we join him, since his employer pays for the hotel room and his airfare, so that the only cost would be airfare for my mom and I. This year, it is in San Diego. My parents have been there, but I've never been there.

The hotel room is paid for from Wednesday evening, November 18th, to Tuesday morning, November 24th. Since the airfare for my mom and I is separate from the airfare for my dad, and since I have finals through Wednesday, my mom and I would leave Thursday. The commencement ceremony is on the 21st. So, if I go to the ceremony, I can't leave until late afternoon Saturday.

The airfare isn't cheap. If we leave Saturday afternoon, we're paying $1000 airfare for essentially two days in San Diego. If we leave Thursday, we can probably get a cheaper airfare because it's not the weekend, and we'd have four and a half days in San Diego. So, really, if I go to the commencement ceremony, we probably won't go to San Diego at all.

So, the question is: Is college graduation ceremony worth giving up a four-day San Diego vacation for? Because I don't have any other family in the area, everybody lives elsewhere, and my dad will be in San Diego no matter what, and I don't have many friends at my university(Wright State University, Dayton, OH), so my mom will be the only person there for me. The ceremony is three hours long and I would have to be there two hours in advance, so it would be five hours. Graduation ceremonies can be boring. I would sit through three hours, for the 20-second snapshot of me walking across the stage, receiving my degree, and shaking somebody's hand. 20 seconds, and with my mom being the only one there who cares(other than me). Four days in San Diego gone for that.

And yet I'm torn, and I don't know why. And if I do go to commencement, I have to turn in my RSVP card by tomorrow afternoon at 5PM.

I know, nobody can decide but me. And will I look back in twenty years and regret not having a picture of that 20 seconds.

But I really want to go to San Diego too.

I've been trying to decide for weeks. San Diego, commencement, commencement, San Diego.

Advice? Thoughts? Is college commencement worth it?

[phoenixrose05]

I graduated last May and it is in my opinion not worth attending. In my experience however with my own family and friends' the commencement is more for your parents enjoyment then your own, you walk across the stage and smile because your parents just helped you with college and they want to see it.

I do not believe you would feel as if you missed out on something 20 years from now, I love traveling and San Diego is a cool place, I say go there, the memory will last longer then a boring commencement ceremony.

[DNP CD]

Phoenix is close to right on. However . . .

You=bored.
Mom=proud.

If she wants to see you graduate, you go ahead and sit through the ceremony. It's an important mom thing. San Diego will always be San Diego; this graduation is a onetime thing.

[HomoSapien]

You only graduate from college one time.


It may be boring, you may not know most of the other people that are walking, it may be five hours long...but you worked hard for four years for this moment.

San Diego isn't going anywhere.

[SuburbanOasis]

Check out who the speakers are (I'm sure you can find out).. If it is someone interesting then you should go. Otherwise, it's going to be speakers that you don't care about, and a lot of watching other people walk up and down in straight lines.

It's not even as good as High School graduation either, at least in high school you knew some of the people speaking. If you go to a University that is big at all you will probably recognize the President and maybe one other speaker,but many of them will just be faces with titles.

[Magilla_Gorilla]

Its your college graduation. Go.

[dougthonus]

I don't even remember a damn thing about my commencement, and I had friends and a ton of family there. It's entirely irrelevant to me whether I attended or not, and if it weren't for my mom urging me to go I probably would have skipped it. I'm going to finally finish off my masters degree in the next year, and when I do, I'll probably go to that commencement only if my family pushes me into it.

So overall, I agree with what is previously stated, commencement is about the people watching you feeling proud more so than anything you get out of it. I would try to get a pulse on how much your mom wants you to go.

Ultimately, as stupid as it sounds, the day is mostly about her. It's one of her last chances to sit there and outright cheer for you and gleam with pride. After this, she'll have your wedding day, maybe the day you bring home grand kids, and that might be about it. Not to say she won't be proud of you, but as a parent, you spend so much time cheering on and rooting on your kids, and as they age you have fewer and fewer opportunities to do that.

[Magilla_Gorilla]

I don't even remember a damn thing about my commencement, and I had friends and a ton of family there. It's entirely irrelevant to me whether I attended or not, and if it weren't for my mom urging me to go I probably would have skipped it. I'm going to finally finish off my masters degree in the next year, and when I do, I'll probably go to that commencement only if my family pushes me into it.

So overall, I agree with what is previously stated, commencement is about the people watching you feeling proud more so than anything you get out of it. I would try to get a pulse on how much your mom wants you to go.

Ultimately, as stupid as it sounds, the day is mostly about her. It's one of her last chances to sit there and outright cheer for you and gleam with pride. After this, she'll have your wedding day, maybe the day you bring home grand kids, and that might be about it. Not to say she won't be proud of you, but as a parent, you spend so much time cheering on and rooting on your kids, and as they age you have fewer and fewer opportunities to do that.

I don't remember anything about my commencement either, but as you said, its for the parents. What I do remember is how proud my parents were. Go for them, unless they absolutely have no desire to go. If thats the case they probably don't love you. I'm kidding. About the parents not loving you. The rest is serious.

[transplant]

I skipped mine. Both my parents were dead, so there wasn't an issue that way. Never thought twice about going then or since.

Two of my kids have graduated and the youngest graduates in May, at which time I will attend my third college commencement ceremony. As Doug said, if Mom wants to go, go. If not, enjoy San Diego.

[raptorsfan1995]

Ask yourself this question...Which one you'll regret more down the road. Graduation is a one time ceremony and SD trip can be any time...

I had cut short of my Euro trip to attend my graduation...heck graduation ceremony was boring BUT I am sure I would regret not attending.

[blumeany]

Talk to someone at the University about the possibility of 'walking' at the Spring commencement, or if they have one in between, do it then. I don't think it would be the same without your family being there to celebrate with you. So I would say take the trip, and walk at a different ceremony if they'll let you.

[Future Coach]

Talk to someone at the University about the possibility of 'walking' at the Spring commencement, or if they have one in between, do it then. I don't think it would be the same without your family being there to celebrate with you. So I would say take the trip, and walk at a different ceremony if they'll let you.

very good idea and often a workable solution. And as others have said this is all about the people watching and admiring you, so try to get a sense on what your mom thinks about it. Also, are you an only child or the youngest? I went to one of my brother's graduations and it was real boring but kind of pleasant (at uc santa cruz), then the next brother opted not to walk (also santa cruz so parents weren't too bummed out about it at all), then I was initially against the idea and my parents seemed okay as they didn't want to make the drive really (bay area to santa barbara). But with me being the youngest I realized they might want to go through it one more time so I told them I was thinking about walking and they both quickly seemed happy about it and wanted to make the trip down. Granted my graduation was boring as **** as the speaker was some little old lady who was essentially just a big donor, and I didn't even walk with my major cuz that ceremony was at 9 am a friday which was way too early so I opted for a different one at 4 the next day. So it's about the pictures and the dinner after and all that, but will your mom really want to do it without your pops?