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19th November, 2007 - 3:42 pm
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| Current Features |
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SCOOP DU JOUR: Brand, OKC, Sabathia, Ryan And Umberger!
Elton Brand is close to a decision, Oklahoma City, Sabathia is now a Brewer, Ryan could start in Week One, and Umberger gets a new deal in Columbus.
STANDING 10: Top 10 Careers Of Players Picked 6th
You might wonder if Danilo Gallinari will qualify for this list in the future, but most New York fans would probably laugh at such an idea.
MOCK DRAFT: 2008 NBA Mock Draft, Version 13.0 (Draft Day Edition)
Weeks and months of waiting has finally come to an end, and Draft day is officially here.
PLAYER RANKINGS: Ranking The Best Players Of The 2008 Playoffs
Which players have played the best through the Conference Finals?
TEAM RANKINGS: The RealGM.com Final NBA Team Rankings For 2007-08
Which teams were statistically the best in 2007-08? Which teams improved the most from 2006-07? Some of the answers may surprise you.
CLASSICS: Hakeem Vs. Ewing: Who Was The Better Center?
Born within six months of each other in opposite corners of the world, two seven footers who are finalists for the Basketball Hall of Fame this fall are two of the best ever to play the center position.
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By Graham Flashner
According to a source deep inside the Knicks' organization, a group of veteran Knicks have decided to whack Stephon Marbury if Isiah Thomas doesn’t take matters into his own hands and either trade or release the controversial point guard.
Knicks' players convened an emergency meeting after Saturday night’s dismal 115-83 loss in Denver, where Marbury had 5 points and 5 personal fouls in 16 minutes of woeful playing time. After what was described as a “tense but productive” meeting, the team unanimously agreed that Marbury had to g, and could be whacked as early as next week, after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.
One player, who did not wish to be identified, said it would be quick and “a lot more painless than watching Marbury play defense on a nightly basis.”
Reached for comment, Marbury was typically defiant. “Trade me, whack me, whatever, it’s out of my control,” he said. “I just play my game. If I had a nickel for every teammate that wanted to kill me over the last ten years, I’d be richer than A-Rod.”
Players have been seething with resentment since Isiah Thomas defied their vote to sit Marbury for a game in Los Angeles against the Clippers, a game the Knicks lost. Marbury had left the team in Phoenix for an unannounced trip back to New York.
New rumors have circulated that the whacking idea was initiated by Thomas, who reportedly grew afraid after Marbury threatened to “dish dirt” that he claimed to have on the coach. Marbury later retracted his statement, saying he had nothing on Thomas, but Thomas was later heard remarking to a coach that Marbury “could be gotten rid of.” Questioned by reporters, Thomas insisted he was merely talking about a trade or a buyout of Marbury’s $42M contract.
It was on the plane ride back from Denver that players, resigned to the fact that James Dolan has no intention of getting rid of Marbury, hatched what they termed “the “Sourbury Solution”, which would be a first in NBA history. When the team arrived at JFK Airport, Marbury was nearly sideswiped by a passing limo, which players said was pure coincidence. “If he goes, it will happen on the basketball court,” one player confided, who then added:
“He’s been killing us all year on the floor, so we’d like to return the favor.”
If he’s worried about his Knicks' career coming to a premature end, Marbury doesn’t seem concerned. “Who’s gonna play point guard?” he said. “I’m irreplaceable. Uncoachable, maybe – but irreplaceable. Ain’t gonna make the playoffs by whacking me.”
But another player, stepping into his car, advised Marbury not to leave his feet in a game anytime soon. “Lots of strange things can happen on the court,” the player said. “And with any luck, in the next couple weeks, we won’t have to worry about why Sourbury’s not making shots at the end of games.”
The preceding article is a piece of satirical fiction. |
